My 25th Birthday Wish List.

April 30, 2016


One / Two / Three / Four / Five / Six / Seven /

I turn 25 on the 29th May and I am excited for my week off work, its a much needed rest. I am looking forward to spending time with my dogs,Rob and my mom that week. This is just a wish list on things I like at the minute, I don't expect to get any of these things for my birthday. I am happy to have a small meal out with rob and a long walk on the beach with my dogs. 

On my wish list would be a set up to start my own YouTube adventure, I have been wanting to start a channel for years now and I feel like this is the time to start. I want to video more of my life to keep safe, even if I don't put in online. My office needs doing up and I am excited to start decorating it with Ikea etc stuff. This is the desk I have my eye on, when I get my bonus in June I'm going to kit out my office.

A ring light would be great to have to hand to make my lighting better, I have a degree in photography so I want to start out with the equipment to help with the lighting etc otherwise it would drive me crazy. I am so excited to start and see how I get on. 

This ring from Pandora is on my wish list, I am a big fan of rings from them. I have two from Rob so far and it would be lovely to get this one for my birthday. I just want a day of rest, cake and time with my family.

The vlogging camera would be amazing, to start filming my dogs and life to keep safe. I love that it has a screen to turn around so you can see what you are filming. An Ipod in rose gold for my car would be amazing but I don't mind using my phone. 




Reacting To My Baby Videos From 1991.

April 29, 2016

 There has been a huge part of my life missing from when I moved away from South Africa and that is photographs, memories of my dad and me as a baby. We could not bring all our photos with us because of the weight in the suitcases which upset me and still does. All those memories gone,forever that you cannot get back. I so wish I could, it would make my life. I grew up In south Africa with my dads side of the family and my mom. I lived there for 15 years before moving back to England with my brother and my mom.
 I could not wait to receive my dvds in the post from my moms tapes, which she kept for years and recently nearly threw them away. I am so pleased she didn't because these tapes mean so much to me. I'm not ready for a baby but seeing my mom at 26 (i'm 25 next month) which is close to my age with me as a baby has made me feel so emotional. Look at me its so weird to watch me on the tv as a 5 month old baby and me being 24. 
 My mom is the best she has been through so much that I really admire her for. My dad was violent to her and he was an alcoholic for years. Over the next ten years I saw so much violence towards my mom and so much alcohol which is why I think I don't drink. My dad ended up in cells for beating up my mom many times and he ended up in A&E more times than I can count on my fingers. Saying this I remember some good memories of my dad which are slowly fading because i've not seen him for 15 years. I recently saw a photo of him and to me looks like a stranger which hurt my heart more than anything. 
 What made me happy about these videos I could see my granddad who was the love of our family and he adored me, my mom and my brother. He died when I was 7 or 8 and it broke my heart. Seeing him so well in the videos made me so happy, I can keep these dvds for life with his face in them. I grew up in my grandparents house for years, i used to visit every week many times and we would play scrabble and play in the garden with their dogs. In this photo I am wearing my dad hat which I remember him keeping for years.
 This is my granddad he was amazing and a person who was a big part of my childhood and I will never forget him. Having this photo/ footage of him is everything to me. Rob says he looks like he could be in a bond film which made me laugh because he would be perfect as he always dressed smart. 
 The person on the right is my dad, I only have one picture of him and thats  me and him just after I was born. This is how I remember him and I wish he took a different path for himself, I do worry about him still. I was a twin, my sister died an hour after birth so I also wonder what it would have been like if she was here, I wish she was. Bbqs are a big part of being a south African, I grew up on them when we sat outside in the beautiful sunshine. My dad always wore polo shirts and shorts so this photo to me is him.
 My grandparents 
 I'm not ready for a baby but seeing my mom with me makes me wonder when is it time for me to have my own children. Seeing my footage of being a baby is so special, when I have children I want to record them for them to have something special to keep. It means so much to me even though this is only an hour or so long film. The Michalaks are doing an amazing thing for their son, i cannot imagine what he would do when he sees all the footage when he grows up. Its something so special, to have forever to keep. 



This is my mom at the age of 26, she is stunning. I sent her this picture and she is so shocked how much was on the tapes. She is my rock and always will be, she has gone through so much and deserves all the best in her life now. I am so happy to have this footage of her hugging and kissing me. She holds me so tight, like she won't ever let me get hurt. 

I have to admit it hurts me even more now that my dad left us, my mom leaving his abuse was needed she is amazing and such a kind person. So the memories hurt me more than ever these days than it did as a child. It almost ruined my childhood, no child should see their mom get beat black and blue or even go through depression. There were happy times its just so hard to see them through so much pain so having the footage of my family at a bbq having fun is something to treasure. This has helped me try move on from the past, this is my time to enjoy my family, my mom, brother and to make my life better. We as a family are strong to get through so much in our past, we work hard and we are kind. 

Seeing some small footage of my dad means I can remember his face, some good times because alcohol is a demon it takes over and  he was addicted to it. I never thought that he was a bad person, he was struggling and I wish him the best for years to come. 

Before I ramble on I want to say thank you if you read this and thanks for all the support you give my blog. My blog is my rock and it helps me get feeling out like this and to create happy memories. This has encouraged me to start filming my dogs and one day my own children, so I have memories like this too.






Jord Wood Watches Spring Collection.

April 24, 2016

 There is nothing better than owning a beautiful watch that goes with all of your outfits and stands out as its own piece. I am a huge fan of Jord wood watches and I am so  pleased I am able to work with such a great company, who are very nice to talk to over email. The first time I saw the Jord watches I was blown away and that was just looking at them online but in person they are gorgeous. I was kindly gifted this stunning watch, I wear it almost everyday.
 The watch comes in a beautiful hand crafted wood box, when you open it your watch is on a Jord cushion. What I love about this is that it has the wow factor, imagine gifting this to your boyfriend, girlfriend or even parents. The impact it would have is insane, this watch is from the Spring collection. It is called the Ely Red sandalwood $129*


 I am so pleased the sunshine has started to show itself here in England and it is the perfect time to change up your style. I tend to wear black and white stripes with jeans all the time so in Spring my goal is to change it up a little. This watch has helped transform my accessories because I love simple but gorgeous pieces on. I am obsessed with the colour of this wood, it is a me watch and everyone I show it to are amazed by it.
I am amazed by the craftsman ship of Jord Watches, they are worked to perfection and each one is as unique as the next. Imagine getting this for a big birthday or even as a graduation gift. It will be a piece that would last in your wardrobe for years to come and something that could be passed down in the family. It is stunning, every time I put it on my wrist I am blown away by it. 

I have an exclusive gift card for you guys so head over to this link here to redeem yours. There are a limited amount for you to receive $25 off your next watch. 

The watches would make a great anniversary, birthday, graduation gift and it has that wow factor to it. From opening up the box to the watch. My boyfriend is obsessed with his Jord watch, our family and friends are amazed by Jord too. I could see my boyfriend and myself collecting these watches and it is not very often we have the same taste in watches so these are extra special.

Head over to the Jord website to see more of the collection.

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